Do you like yourself? Is it easy for you to accept compliments and praise from others? Do you accept yourself just as you are today? Self-esteem is the doorway to healthy high achievement and happiness.
Liking yourself as you are is not egotistical blindness to possible shortcomings. Although we are not all born with equal physical and mental attributes, we are born with the equal right to believe and expect that we deserve the best in life.
Let’s think about expectations. There are two types of expectation. One is the expectation others have for you, the other is the expectations you have for yourself. The expectations of others will be determined by how much or little they know or think they know about you. The expectations you have for yourself are firmly within your ability to change if needed or wanted.
Why is self-esteem important? Because you won’t be able to exceed your self-imposed limits. Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re correct. When you have high self-esteem, a positive image and expectation for yourself, you will attempt and succeed at a higher achievement level. Low self-esteem and low self-image means you probably won’t attempt to exceed your comfort level and when you do, you’ll have no expectation of success.
Make sense so far?
How can you tell what your level of self-esteem is? One of the easiest is to consider how you accept praise or compliments. There’s nothing false (as in false modesty) about turning aside deserved and earned praise. Do you say something like “it was nothing, anyone could have done it”? High self-esteem knows that you did do a good job and you deserve the credit. Low self-esteem dresses the part. High self-esteem presents it’s best face always. Personal grooming and appearance provide an instantaneous projection on the surface of how you feel about yourself.
Americans spend enormous sums of money each year for material goods and they can serve positive purposes. They brighten our lives. But more valuable and important is our thinking, especially our thinking about ourselves. Happiness is a habit just as brushing our teeth and washing our faces. You can acquire this habit.
It there a self-image? We know there is a mind though it’s never been seen. We can see a brain, but the mind, which thinks, hopes, fears, envisions and remembers is also real though we can’t feel or see it. Self-image also has a reality, because success is real and so is failure.
Self-image is your own conception of the sort of person you are. The product of past experience, successes and failure, humiliations and triumphs. The picture may be false, often is false, but the important fact is that you act as if it was true. Your comfort should come from the two words “as if”. The picture you hold of yourself can be changed and has been changed by others before you. You are the writer, director and the actor in this picture, and when you learn how to change the script, you’ll change the storyline and the ending. Maybe you’ll even begin to feel more kindly about the only self you’ve got.
Why is self-image so important? Because you will act like the sort of person you think you are. You simply can’t act otherwise even if you exercise all your will power. Our self-image is the foundation stone of our whole personality. As we exhibit that personality to the world, our experiences seem to verify and consequently strengthen our self-image. A man who thinks he is “unlucky” will manage to prove he is a victim of bad luck, and man who thinks he is a failure will find a way to fail no matter how much he desires success. A man (or woman) who thinks they are unattractive when complimented on one aspect, say a nice figure or pretty eyes, will tell themselves that their nose or ears are too long or that their hair is too thin. Their defensive manner will discourage further compliments and “prove” that they “really are unattractive”.
It is this so-called “objective truth” about ourselves that can be changed and when that is accomplished a new person emerges, ready to have a new life. You are never too old or too young to choose to change your self-image and create a new foundation of self-esteem.
Peoples actions always depend on what they think is true about themselves and their environment. We act as if our beliefs are valid no matter how misguided they are. Results with hypnosis prove this.
Told that water is champagne, subjects have become intoxicated. Told it is warm, they begin to perspire, physically reacting to a mental image. Under hypnosis, people accept new truths.
How about you? Your self-esteem rests on what you believe to be true about yourself. Have you hypnotized yourself with false beliefs?
You act and feel according to the image your mind holds of what things are like, which might be quite different from reality. Accept yourself realistically, as you are, with your limitation and your strengths. Have compassion for yourself, forgive yourself and do your best. If you achieve your goal, wonderful. If you don’t and you’ve done your best, heed this common-sense advise: You can do no more than your best.
Self-esteem is to accept yourself, learning to live with yourself. See yourself realistically, give yourself the respect you deserve, keep faith with yourself in spite of your faults, forgive yourself for your mistakes. You have done no less for others, you deserve the same consideration.
Many people who fail regard money and success as the same thing. Not true. Success may be associated with making money or it may not. Real wealth is a happy life. All successful people believe they deserve to be happy, that happiness is their birthright, each sunrise is the beginning of another day of successful living.
1-Select goals that are yours
2-Be sure they are realistic in terms of your talent/circumstances.
3-Visualize your goals and use your creative imagination to propel you towards them.